Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
