He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
two words: eviction party
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
