Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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