If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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