can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
