If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
