I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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