so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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