Non-Jews are for practice
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
