Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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