When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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