I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
