Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
