if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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