I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
