Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
