Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
