Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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