I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
