i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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