everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
