shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
