Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
