it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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