After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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