"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Welp...herpes.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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