that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
