you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
