How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
