What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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