Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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