I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
