i think my tv is drunk
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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