You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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