i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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