YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
