That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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