Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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