you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
