remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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