After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
