I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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