its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
