When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
