Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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