Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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