You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Boobs speak an international language.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
