Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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