I hate all girls vehemently.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
