thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
