guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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