Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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